By: Michelle Zauner
Page number: 239
Published on: April 2021
"Even as she was dying, my mother offered me solace, her instinct to nurture overwhelming any personal fear she might have felt but kept expertly hidden." (pg. 118)
Thoughts:
My mother's body was my first home. Her womb was where I came to be, where I rested until I was ready to come out. Her lap was where I was fed, embraced, accepted, loved, and seen. Her hands were what consoled me in times of distress, what cleaned and nurtured me. Her voice and smell were a sense of safety, familiarity, and comfort for me. My mom's presence was what was home to me. She was the companion, the teacher, the caretaker, the therapist, the role model, the designer, the chef and every other thing. Mom was the person through which I understood the world around me. Now, due to the countless ways she impacted me, I am a reflection of who she is.
I am a mirror of my mother.
Zuner talked about her mother in remarkable detail and honesty. Just like cooking Korean food, writing was a way for her to mourn her deceased mother. As the reader, I can see that she relived the memories with her again and again on each page. Her pen became a phone to which she could contact her mother. Her pen became a bridge between the world of the living and the world of the dead.
She gave an accurate perspective into the pains and struggles of cancer patients and their loved ones. The sleepless nights, the endless pain, the constant medical supervision, the limits of what a fatal disease can bring to your life, Zuner touched on all the different aspects of experiencing the disease. She shared what came with chemotherapy, the decision to continue at the cost of an almost- living survival . She talked about the possibility of a loss and the feelings that capture you once that expected day comes. That day when the body of your mother is in your hands, but your mother is completely absent from your life.
Quotes:
"There is no momentary translation that mediates the transition from one language to another. Parts of Korean just exist somewhere as a part of my phsche-"
Rating of the book: 8/10