It Ends With Us:

By; Colleen Hoover

Page number: 376

Originally published: 2016

"Sometimes... when I'm really missing him... I tell myself that maybe it wasn't that bad." (pg. 335)

Thoughts:

Trust is a sense of complete reliance one feels toward a thing or a person. Trust is fragile and often does not give second chances. It may take years to build, and it may break in seconds.

If you trust someone with all that is you, with your mind, body, and heart, you allow them a space to hurt you. Displaying yourself in all honesty, without any shades of deception or secrecy, gives them the ability to know you; and your confidence that the other won't use that knowledge against you is a form of vulnerability. In other words, trust is your will to be vulnerable with another, believing they will protect, love, and accept you.

It is sad to say that sometimes, we put trust in people based not on their overall character, but on the few moments of exhilaration and happiness. That trust is still not baseless, as they make us feel attached to them with reassurance and care, but it is also not comprehensive. The highs with a person should not deserve our trust, if the lows are damaging in any way, because trust is not built only on the good moments, it is built on the entirety of the relationship.

In abusive relationships, the abuser forces you to focus on the highs rather than the lows for you to stay. Often the abuser tries to overcompensate for the abuse with gifts, sweet words, and apologies afterward. It becomes hard for the victim to see the danger of the situation because the abuser seems regretful and willing to change. However, with time, the ongoing assaults cause a false sense of normalcy and familiarity in the victim of the abuse. In the book, Lilly's mother says "slowly, with every incident, my limit was pushed a little more". The slight negative comments can turn to verbal and emotional maltreatment, which with time can turn to physical harm.

It is not perceptive to blame the victim for not leaving the abuse. These abusive connections don't happen overnight, and they are not easy to describe. Often, there are underlying traumatic backgrounds of the abusers, financial ties between the partners, and events that force the victim to stay such as having children. It is important to focus on the wrongdoing of the abuser, rather than blurring out the abuser’s fault by condemning the victim.

Summary:

Lily Bloom is a girl from Maine who moves to Boston to open a florist shop. She meets a mysterious young neurosurgeon name Ryle who becomes her love interest. The story also talks about Atlas, Lilly's first love whom she met in high school.

Although the romance between Lily and Ryle starts with excitement and attraction, Ryle physically harms her in his house. The story tells the reader how Lily feels throughout the relationship with Ryle, and how she finds the courage to step out of the abuse; in the end, she breaks the cycle of domestic abuse in her family.

personal rating of the book: 6/10